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- Sean Smith: Beer and pussy. That’s all I need.
- Ronald Fisher: Well we gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
- Sean Smith: Smurfette?
- Ronald Fisher: Mmm-hmm . Not some like tight-ass Middlesex chick, y’know? Like this cute little blonde that’ll get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
- Sean Smith: Hmm.
- Donnie: Smurfette doesn’t fuck.
- Ronald Fisher: That’s bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? It’s because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
- Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
- Ronald Fisher: Okay well you know what then, she fucks them while Vanity watches, okay?
- Sean Smith: Well what about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get into all the action.
- Ronald Fisher: Yeah. What he does: He films the gangbang, later on…he beats off to the tape.
- Donnie: First of all: Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette - Gargamel did! She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gangbang scenario - Huh! I - it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual, th-they don’t even have… reproductive organs under those little… white… pants. That’s what’s so illogical, y’know, about being a Smurf. Y’know what’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?
- Sean Smith: Dammit, Donnie, wh-why you gotta get so smart on us?
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